mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Randomize
