stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
