You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
