Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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