I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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