I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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