that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
