I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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