I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
