Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
