why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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