I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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