He asked to "fluff my boner.."
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize