I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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