I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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