I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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