franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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