Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Randomize
