He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
