so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Alive.
So much puke
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
