it wasn't lemon gatorade
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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