sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
