Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
be right there i have to get my cape
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize