I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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