okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
