I didn't shave. On purpose
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
