Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
