Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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