I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
