why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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