He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
