just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
