I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
