I haven't been this sober since birth.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
