I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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