when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
