haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
