He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
