What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
soo... how was my night?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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