I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
