I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
