Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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