I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
