The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
