I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
