What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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