there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
