why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
