idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
