my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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