so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
