i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
