found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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