I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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