Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
