why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
be right there i have to get my cape
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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