Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
