I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
