if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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